Reading: Changing Your Mind About Having Kids


A wife has written an open letter telling others it’s okay to change your mind about having children, after her husband decided he didn’t want kids.

The unnamed woman posted the heartwarming letter on Reddit, explaining that she wasn’t angry at her husband for changing his mind.

In fact, the couple had been “on the fence” about having children for years and although they had stopped using contraception for a while, she felt “relieved” her partner had finally made a firm decision.

“We are raised with this notion that you get married and have kids. Simple,” she said.

“But it’s not simple. Kids aren’t for everyone. Some plans just do not involve it.”

The woman explained that she has two children from a previous marriage and her husband is an “excellent stepfather” to them.

However, they have not had children together and previously made the decision to try for a baby.

Her husband recently looked after his stepchildren for the day and when the woman came home, he immediately said: “I don’t want another kid.”

“We laughed and I said ‘okay.’ He said kids are by nature, selfish, and he doesn’t want to raise another one. I hugged him and said it’s okay, that to me, we have kids together even if they aren’t his blood.”

The woman decided to share their story to prove that “reproductive choices aren’t always set in stone”.

“If you end up changing your mind, you haven’t ‘let anyone down’ or ‘disappointed’ anyone,” she said. “You’ve simply changed your mind. That’s it.”

She added that children “take a lot of work” and no one should feel forced into a decision around that responsibility.

“If you and your spouse disagree, talk it out, go to counselling,” she said.

“If having a child is an absolute must for someone and you aren’t on board, then have a serious discussion about the option of parting ways.”

She admitted that those who want children “may feel cheated” by a partner changing their mind about kids, but said sometimes it can’t be helped.

“You have a right to be upset, but no right to coerce them into being on the same page,” she said.

“Families are not one-size-fits-all. You know what will be best for you. And sometimes, that changes. And that’s okay.”





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